so seeing as roberto and ryan are no longer quite as tied down to our people scouts, what with recent happenings, the framework of our group remains. us girls. kaitlin had yet to tell us of her crazy night out. i cant remember if ive mentioned that she texted me one saturday asking if kim hated her, leaving kim and i bewildered, since she hadnt spoken to kim since the last group gathering where she confessed to having gone farther with ryan than any of us had expected and then stayed late with kim comparing their relationships/breakups. apparently she had texted kim the night before, a text kim never received, and thought kim hated her. she was extremely hung over saturday though, and incomprehensible with what she was telling us. but promised to fill us in. saniya could not make it to this gathering unfortunately and had to wait until later to hear this story. so kim texted that she was going to be late and i hung with kaitlin and jillian and it was so nice and of course we all got talking and having a great time and catching up but we had to wait for kim for most stories. kim was pissing me off this day as well. she bursts in like the center of attention she always is. and not to say that there is anything wrong with being the center of things. but there is a natural give and take in a group of friends as to where the attention is. and it just had bothered me how she seemed to have this need to bring everyones attention to her, when it wasnt. she bursts in as if we could not possibly have started anything without her and then proceeds to throw herself and her wet hair all over kaitlin and i. i just needed a little space and there she was, as usual laying all over me, getting me wet with her freshly showered hair. normally id be fine but today i was not. and kaitlin told us her story, and if i laughed kim laughed louder or had something witty to say and i felt there was really nothing i could contribute to anything with kim there. sometimes i just wish she didnt have to make me feel so second rate. but this is another issue altogether. there are times when i feel she purposely has to one up me. she feigns the confidence and has the personality everyone wants to be around, and to top it off there are the times when it feels like she is trying to make me look stupid as well. her manner of acting as if her way is always the best choice irritates me. she is close minded and not very understanding and makes up excuses for herself. i do love her. but too much time together had pointed out things that i cant stand. but it is this way with anybody. after kim left, kaitlin and jillian had to go and i wished just for once, that kim did not decide the end, and that my friends felt free to stay even if one or more of the group was leaving. i miss the days i could hang out with any one of them one on one. is this distance? or forgetting?