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i am so frustrated. 

i am perched precariously on the edge of believing that i am content with everything as it is along with distaste in the idea of dating/being interested or putting effort into any guy and the idea that i just want something, anything, everything to happen/that i deserve something better.

i am encountering anxiety of new classes and potentially screwing up and not finding a job.

i am extraordinarily irritated at the fact that zach is a liar and andrew is a douche and in love with how great a friend nate is becoming and determined to do the best i can and confused about what i want and what anything means.

and utterly embarrassed about my first date and the guy and ashamed at what it might say about me because really it matters.